Saturday, November 15, 2008

"The ghost"

We have a new phenomenon that has recently entered our house. Its called the ghost. The ghost is a sneaky fellow (or maybe sneaky lady), as he's always causing trouble. We first learned about the ghost a few weeks ago as Rylie came running into my room, just before we needed to leave for church, with her hair sopping wet and covered in soap. My obvious, first response was "Rylie, what did you do to your hair???" Rylie quite calmly and matter-of-factly responded with "Mommy, it wasn't me, it was a ghost." According to Rylie, she closed her eyes and a ghost came and wet and soaped her hair.

Since this incident, the ghost has been responsible for quite a few other things. Here are a few:
  • Bubbles all over the kitchen floor
  • Nail polish (fondly called "paint nails" by Rylie) on her ponies and the computer keyboard
  • Further incidents of wet soapy hair at inoportune moments (seems to be a ghost favorite)
  • "Ponds" (this is where the ghost fills up bathroom sinks with soapy water, oftentimes forgetting to turn off the water in the process)
  • Naked-ifying all barbies in the near vacinity
  • Naked-ifying Rylie

So I write this post in warning - ghosts are about! Keep a close eye out at your house!

Friday, October 24, 2008

The mighty interview....

So one of the bains of my existence at my current employment is the need to constantly interview potential hirees. While yes, this is definitely a better option than having to be the potential hiree, I just know when I wake up on the morning of interview day, this is going to be a long one. Not only does it mean I don't get any of my regular work done, for which I don't believe there are enough hours in a day anyway, it means that there will be at least several candidates at which I will want to just scream "There is no way in heck you're getting this job, save us both some time and leave now".

Anyway, with each cloud there is always a silver lining, so it is with that mindset that I present to you a few Do's and Don'ts of interviewing:

1. Don't ask me if you can give me one of your "business cards" and then present me with a golf tee that reads "Dan the Man with the Plan" and you're phone number. Yes, this is probably the reason you are still not just jobless but single too.

2. If you are sick, don't spend your time with me hacking and sneezing into your hand and holding your boogery germ-infested tissue and then expect me to shake said hand. That is just disgusting. God provided us medicine on this great earth - use it. Lots of it.

3. Do have the sense to look over your resume before sending it to me, especially when using a Microsoft Word resume template. Telling me you have "attention to detail" on the same piece of paper that reads "YOUR NAME - YOUR ADDRESS - YOUR PHONE NUMBER" at the bottom just doesn't add up right.

4. Do understand that if you lie about your criminal history, I am probably not going to hire you.

5. If I ask you if you are ok with traveling two weeks a month, don't respond with "yes, I just want to get out there and party".

6. Do check yourself in the mirror before arriving for your interview. Creased, too short pants, a creased shirt, a 1980's skinny tie and big old high tops does not say "I am the man for the job".

7. If I ask you to tell me about yourself, don't respond with "uh...uh...what do you want to know" or just stare at me blankly. This makes things uncomfortable for both of us.

8. Don't use your ex-boyfriend who currently works for me but thinks you are a psycho as your reference. (Why would you want to work with your ex anyway????)

9. Don't tell me multiple times in the interview that you are the perfect candidate for the job. Thats what an interview is for - for me to determine that. If I can't tell whether you are a perfect candidate from our time together, actually telling me it isn't going to make up my mind for me.

10. For heavens sakes, do make sure your fly is up before walking into my office.

Well, I hope this helps any of you that may be currently looking for work! I do believe I deserve a T-shirt that reads "I survived interview day October 2008!"

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Rylie and me

So last night Erik and I decided to have some one on one time with the kids. He wanted to take the kids to the movies - I wasn't that interested in seeing Space Chimps (see previous blog for thoughts on watching movies), so he and Tyler went off and Rylie and I had some coveted mommy/daughter time.

I think sometimes Rylie lives a little bit in Tyler's shadow. There have been probably only a handful of times when they have actually been apart, and so she relies on his being there. I love going out with Rylie though. She is such a thoughtful child. As I was getting ready before she and I went out, she was putting all her efforts into making a "project for Tyler". She was concerned that we would have fun without Tyler and daddy.

Well, off we trucked to Wal-Mart, because her choice of events for the evening was going to the store to get a toy. As we circled round the well-stocked toy aisles, she decided on a little plastic pouch with "paint nails" (nail polish) in it. A mother couldn't be prouder - when her daughter chooses the $3.86 nail polish kit as opposed to any of the other overpriced Dora and Barbie toys. (Way to shop sweetie!)

I then took her to Applebee's to get dinner. She and I conversated about the different things to color in her kids menu (whoever came up with those is a pure genius!). After a full kiddie chocolate milk, however, she told me she didn't feel well. I quickly asked for our food to go, not wanting to repeat our last Applebee's experience where I couldn't get Rylie to the bathroom fast enough and she hurled all over the floor by the bar. So we came home, ate our Applebee's and had a mommy and daughter "paint nails" fest, followed up by her dancing while I played the piano (one of her favorite things).

It's nights like these where I remember that family is what matters most. Too often, I am caught up in the day to day stresses of work, not remembering fully my most important job - to raise my two wonderful children. Yes, they can be hellions, but they are my most treasured possession.

Here's to you Rylie - my sweet princess!

What? I was tagged?

So I was tagged by MBD (sorry, MBH just doesn't sound the same!) like a week ago to share six weird and random things about me. I am struggling to come up with one, because I am just oh so normal. Maybe I'll have to solicit the help from my other half (definitely not better half today - I think I may get some attention if I dress up in a football uniform or put on some cleats.....maybe I can hope for a tackle....). Anyway, here is what I came up with:

1. I am an e-mail junkie. Darn those Blackberry's and their blinking red light to signify a new message. Its the first thing I do when I get up in the morning and the last thing I do before going to sleep. I know, very sad.

2. I can watch a couple hours of TV, but hate watching a movie. I know - doesn't make sense. I think its because I use TV to wind down and veg out - if I actually have to spend money on a movie, I feel I have to invest my brain power to pay attention to the story line (or lack thereof).

3. I typically hate spending money on myself. I can blow some dosh on the kids, my hubby, friends and family, etc., but don't usually fork it over when its for me. One caveat to that - if I do spend some, its usually a good amount! (Editorial note: this has often become a sticking point between me and Erik. My defense is that I don't do it that often, so when it does happen, it makes up for all the $20 trips to Kohls and Steve & Barry's he has had in between.)

4. I have bi-polar cleaning tendancies. Depending on the day, I have to have my house or office completely clean and organized (don't you dare have something out of place) OR I just don't give a darn and boy, can you tell! There is no nice middle ground.

5. I enjoy watching SpongeBob as much as the kids do. Case in point today - I suddenly notice that I'm the only member of the family left in the room watching it, and no, I didn't change the channel. Its quite an enjoyable cartoon! Humor for all ages! I actually want to DVR the upcoming new episode - WhoBob WhatPants.

6. I love fry sauce. I will actually choose somewhere to eat for lunch based on the delectability of their fry sauce. I'm craving some just thinking about it.

Well, I would love to tag six people, but I don't have that many blogging buddies! So Carole - you're it!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

A tribute to my parents

So I was in Kohl's the other night picking up a present for little Mike. I was at the cash register and I slowly registered the conversation that was happening between the cashier and the lady in front of me. They were talking about how they didn't graduate high school, thinking that getting married and getting a job were more important. (The cashier was quite young and very pregnant.) I was instantly saddened for both of them, but just as instantly gratified that my parents had good expectations for us. Not in any bad way - we didn't have to have straight A's or be perfect children, but we were expected to graduate high school, be respectful to others, go to church, and have a high regard for our family.

As I now struggle to raise my own family, I hope and pray that they don't give me as much trouble as I think I sometimes game my own mum and dad. I thank God every day for the parents I have: that I can call them when I need help or advice or a blessing; that we can laugh to the point of tears and do stupid and fun things together; that they are a strong foundation in my life. I hope I can be the same for my children when they grow up.

I love you mum and dad and I am proud to have you has parents.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Homework assignment

So after my last post, I decided to catch up on some other blog reading. Needless to say, I was given a homework assignment from Petra's: 7 things I LOVE and HATE. (By the way, I have been out of school for...many years, I thought homework was behind me!)

Well, here goes!

7 LOVES:

1. Quote from my kids: "Mommy - can I tell you something? I love you!" (I know, it brings a tear to your eye.)

2. The male "after the shower" dance. Come on ladies - you know what I'm talking about. Your hubby gets out of the shower and feels the need to flex, dance, and whoop around with the towel before getting dressed. You can't tell me my husband is the only one that does this.

3. Friday nights. No matter how bad the week has been, I know on Friday nights that I have two great days before it starts all over again on Monday.

4. Clean sheets. There is nothing better than making your bed with fresh, clean sheets and sliding into bed. Especially when they're Egyptian cotton!

5. One of my favorite memories: When the University of Texas won the national football championship and Erik circled the neighborhood in underwear, tennis shoes, and his longhorn flag.

6. A bubble bath in the jetted tub. This is what heaven will be like.

7. Digital cameras. Feel free to snap away kids - we can always delete those pictures of nothing but fingers over the lens! (And yes family, I am well aware that I need a replacement digital camera for the brick I currently have.)

7 HATES:

1. Monday morning. The antithesis of number 3 above.

2. The Magic School Bus books. We read to the kids every night but these books are so LONG and of course, always the kids' choices.

3. Cleaning the same room in the house - over and over and over again. Its amazing the natural talent of young kids to messy up a room.

4. Flies. They have all that fresh air and room outside of my house. Why must you venture inside every time a door cracks open?

5. Trying to explain where kids come from. My last attempt ended abruptly when Tyler asked "Did you eat me?" as I was telling him he grew in mommy's tummy. Sweetie - since you're the health teacher you get to have those "special chats" with the kids when they get older.

6. Baseball season. Erik, yes, I love coming to your games, but I don't enjoy being asked about which bleachers or fences or uniforms would look best - especially when we're cuddling in bed!

7. When you go to the store, spend $200 on groceries, come home and can't find a darn thing to have for lunch.

Hope that satisfies Petra - I give myself an A+!

Revenge of the birds

So a couple of Sundays ago, we decided to go out to the Great Salt Lake. I had never been before, and didn't realize how close we lived to it until one Saturday I was driving home, on the phone telling Erik which way he needed to go, and consequently missed my turning off the UT-201. I had to drive about 10 minutes before being able to turn around - and thus saw the sign for the Great Salt Lake.

Anyway, so I thought this would be a fun after-church activity -- a way for the kids to get out some energy and have a little adventure! Well, we got out to Salt Air. One word - STINKY! But we were there and so decided to hike (literally, about a 1/2 mile hike) out to the water edge. Along the way, we saw many picturesque things - dead birds in the sand, trash, salt, and the occasional seagull.

But we journeyed on, bread in hand. We finally got to the water and of course, the kids couldn't resist. Rylie hadn't been impressed with how dirty her feet had gotten on our "hike", so she welcomed the water, no matter how organism-infested, to wash her feet.

Our last part of the adventure was to feed the birds. We had only seen one or two seagulls circling, so we didn't know how much of our loaf would actually be consumed. However, when the bread started coming out, so did the gulls. It reminded me very much of the movie/book "The Birds". There were times when I thought we ourselves could be swallowed up by the hungry gulls. When the feast was done, however, Tyler had no problem telling them that (see video). If you listen closely, you'll even hear Daddy Hansen "ca-cawing" in his ultimate bird seagull impression.


At last our Great Salt Lake adventure was complete, and we hiked back to the car. Luckily, Salt Air provided a foot wash, which I believe Tyler and Rylie thought was the best part of the trip. They spent more time washing their feet and shoes than at the actual lake. Ah well, whatever makes them happy!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Fish dookey??

**Sorry if this topic will be a bit too much for the faint at heart!**

So last Sunday just before Erik and I were headed up to bed, I went to check on our fish. We have aforementioned fish because I admit it, I was suckered into it by the kids. I really didn't have a choice -- when we were driving home one evening, Rylie told me that she wanted a pet - a dog. Not being a canine lover (or feline, or any type of -line for that matter), I told her no. Both her and Tyler gave me the puppy-dog eyes, clasped hands, and "please, please" most of the way home. Not wanting to disappoint, I suggested goldfish, thinking that they could be pretty easy to take care of. Well, $50 later, we were headed home from PetSmart with five goldfish, tank, and accessories. The kids named them:

- Tiger (for the black and orange one)
- Scrappy Doo (for the black one)
- Fishy (yes, very creative, thanks Rylie)
- Fairy Godmother (actually Tyler's suggestion)
- Monkey Dude (not sure where that one came from)

Well, we are now down to two fish - Fishy and Fairy Godmother. Tiger, Scrappy Doo, and Monkey Dude have all gone to that great big fishy heaven in the sky. (We believe it to be death by water filter.)

Anyway, back to my original story: last Sunday with me checking on the fish. (After only two weeks of fish and already three deaths, checking on the fish has become a nightly ritual.) Well, I did my nightly check-up and realized that Fairy Godmother seemed to have something orange and stringy attached to him, about an adult middle finger long. Upon closer looking, I realized that it seemed to be hanging from where a fish butt could theoretically be. I checked Fishy. He/she also seemed to have something orangy and stringy attached, but only about a centimeter long. I called for Erik - something must be wrong. My initial thought was fishy hemorrhoids or fishy intestines hanging out. As we both investigated (actually more along the lines of staring, not investigation) Fairy Godmother's attachment dislodged itself and floated down to the bottom of the tank. Then it hit us - it must be fish dookey. I honestly didn't think fish pooped, having never witnessed the event myself. But it stands to reason if you feed something, that food will eventually come out - from somewhere.

Well, my two fish have mastered pooping to perfection. I couldn't be prouder, I guess??

Side note: We have gone a whole week without a fish death. Long live Fishy and Fairy Godmother!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Babe Ruth (or maybe Baby Ruth)...

Well, with Erik being a baseball coach, it stands to reason that we would sign Tyler up for T-ball this year. We were a little apprehensive about trying the sports route again. (A year ago, we tried him with soccer. He lasted two (not complete) games. He couldn't understand why everyone was trying to steal his ball.) Anyway, we thought T-ball might be a better option as everyone gets a turn to hit and its a teency bit more organized than soccer.

The night before his first game, we went to get him cleats (I know, he's only four, but we just had to do it) and baseball pants. (Thank goodness for Wal-Mart's $5 clearance pants, which slightly justified the forking over of $30 for cleats).

Tyler's first game was on Tuesday and we couldn't have been prouder. Erik picked him out the number 3 jersey. This was apparently Babe Ruth's old number, and with Tyler's team being the Yankees, he thought this was fitting.

As a mother, you are always a little apprehensive putting your child in a sport for the first time. Will he do ok? Will he run off the field crying? Will he get a bloody nose from a rogue ball? However, after the first "inning" those fears were put to rest. Fortunately, the league is quite relaxed and really there for the kids to start to learn about team sports -- everyone gets to hit and everyone gets to run round the bases. I have to admit - my little slugger brought tears to my eyes. Maybe I was just overly emotional that day (a shocking thought, I know), but it was great to see him and his daddy in the field together.


During the whole game, Rylie was a great supporter! She and I sat alongside and cheered, and as long as I continued to take pictures of her, she loved every minute of it. (Thank goodness for digital cameras.)

Needless to say, we think that the T-ball experience may last a little longer than the soccer - he's already gotten through two games!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Jurassic Park

Well, for Labor Day, we decided to take the kids to Utah's own Jurassic Park - George Eccles Dinosaur Park in Ogden. We woke to pouring down rain and heavy chances of thunderstorms. I, in my wisdom, decided this would be a great day to go to a 13 acre outside park, with two small children, as it wouldn't be too busy.

As we clambored into the car and started to drive, the grey clouds turned more of a blackish color in nature. When we pulled over for gas and Erik was literally sopping as he filled up the tank, I started to doubt myself just a tad, but we forged onward. (Bless Erik's heart for going along with my idea and not saying a word against it!)

As we pulled into Ogden, after a small 10 mile detour going the wrong way (darn your directionally-challengedness google maps) the sky was beginning to clear and it turned out to be a beautiful day.
It took about 1/2 the park for Rylie to finally get upset because they weren't "real" dinosaurs. (I know, a bit backwards!) But we were eventually able to convince her that these were a much better alternative to the real thing.Tyler has had a thing for dinosaurs ever since Auntie Carole gave him the "Berenstain Bears: Day of the Dinosaur" book. (A quite popular choice of his for his night-time reading). Tyler has never been afraid to speak his mind, as his daddy found out one night whilst reading said book:

Tyler loves to ask the name of every dinosaur on the page. Sometimes this takes some geniosity, as the book doesn't give you every name. One night is was getting late, but Tyler continued in his ritual to get every name from Erik. Erik was having a hard time remembering some of the dinosaur names and finally, for one of them, shouted out "its name is Megatron". Tyler gave him a complete look of disgust and eventually said "daddy, thats not a dinosaur, thats a transformer!" Needless to say, Erik did not repeat the offense.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Forced Into Blogging....

Well, I decided that in order for Petra to stop bugging me about blogging, I needed to get started. Every time I told her something cute about the kids, she would respond with "why isn't it on a blog??" Given that we don't really journal (shame on us), we (somehow Erik gets credit for this too??) thought that this would be the next best thing.

I can't promise creativity, but a few good laughs about the terrible twosome will definitely keep you entertained!