So one of the bains of my existence at my current employment is the need to constantly interview potential hirees. While yes, this is definitely a better option than having to be the potential hiree, I just know when I wake up on the morning of interview day, this is going to be a long one. Not only does it mean I don't get any of my regular work done, for which I don't believe there are enough hours in a day anyway, it means that there will be at least several candidates at which I will want to just scream "There is no way in heck you're getting this job, save us both some time and leave now".
Anyway, with each cloud there is always a silver lining, so it is with that mindset that I present to you a few Do's and Don'ts of interviewing:
1. Don't ask me if you can give me one of your "business cards" and then present me with a golf tee that reads "Dan the Man with the Plan" and you're phone number. Yes, this is probably the reason you are still not just jobless but single too.
2. If you are sick, don't spend your time with me hacking and sneezing into your hand and holding your boogery germ-infested tissue and then expect me to shake said hand. That is just disgusting. God provided us medicine on this great earth - use it. Lots of it.
3. Do have the sense to look over your resume before sending it to me, especially when using a Microsoft Word resume template. Telling me you have "attention to detail" on the same piece of paper that reads "YOUR NAME - YOUR ADDRESS - YOUR PHONE NUMBER" at the bottom just doesn't add up right.
4. Do understand that if you lie about your criminal history, I am probably not going to hire you.
5. If I ask you if you are ok with traveling two weeks a month, don't respond with "yes, I just want to get out there and party".
6. Do check yourself in the mirror before arriving for your interview. Creased, too short pants, a creased shirt, a 1980's skinny tie and big old high tops does not say "I am the man for the job".
7. If I ask you to tell me about yourself, don't respond with "uh...uh...what do you want to know" or just stare at me blankly. This makes things uncomfortable for both of us.
8. Don't use your ex-boyfriend who currently works for me but thinks you are a psycho as your reference. (Why would you want to work with your ex anyway????)
9. Don't tell me multiple times in the interview that you are the perfect candidate for the job. Thats what an interview is for - for me to determine that. If I can't tell whether you are a perfect candidate from our time together, actually telling me it isn't going to make up my mind for me.
10. For heavens sakes, do make sure your fly is up before walking into my office.
Well, I hope this helps any of you that may be currently looking for work! I do believe I deserve a T-shirt that reads "I survived interview day October 2008!"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I have seen some of the characters that have gone into your office, but never in a million years could I have imagined that this is what was going on once the door closed! That just cracked me up.
(And the reason the ex wants to work at the office can only be that he/she IS psycho. That's pretty freaky.)
Post a Comment